I’ve always known that I wanted to be a mother one day. When I was in my twenties, I was very awkward around children. I just didn’t know how to interact with them. During this time, I thought to myself that maybe I shouldn’t be a mom, because I just feel so uncomfortable around kids. But then, my sister gave birth to my first nephew. He was such a cutie. I lived with him for the first 5 years of his life, and during that time, I took part in raising him. Because of that experience, I grew comfortable with children. In fact, today, I’d much rather hang out with kids than I would adults.
Because of this experience, and because I’m older, I definitely believe that I was meant to be a mom – and that I wanted to have a child of my own. This change came about – and the urge has grown more and more – due to two reasons: 1. I’m financially stable (as much as I think anyone can be); 2. I’m in a loving, supportive relationship and we are ready to take on the challenge. Now, I know that being in a relationship is not a requirement for having kids – I know a ton of single moms. But for me, after meeting and marrying my wife, we both know that our family is incomplete without a child.
So, now – I’m 35 years old. Married to the love of my life for a year and a half. We have a lovely home, though we’re still renting, but purchasing a home of our own is on the 5 year plan. I have a good job with benefits, and we are financially independent. It’s true that there’s never a good time to have a baby, but we’re in a better spot to start a family than some who don’t have the luxury of planning.
Clearly, my wife and I cannot conceive a child on our own, due to the laws of nature. Again, one of the perks, I guess, of being able to plan when we get pregnant(?). So we are wandering through the wacky, confusing world of assisted reproduction.
That’s what this blog is about. It’s about our journey to becoming the queer moms we long to be, and how we’re attempting to make that happen. I know that there are a lot of people out there who are curious about how two women can make a baby, and what going through assisted reproduction is like – everything from the testing, probing, and scheduling, to choosing a donor.
I won’t lie — this process takes a toll on every single person who goes through it. It’s not glamourous. It’s not fun. And it’s certainly not G rated. But it is incredibly personal. I hope by sharing my story, I can bring some clarity, some humor, and some hope to anyone who is going through this. We’re here for you – and we get it. But one thing is for sure, it’ll be brutally honest – because in the end, the only thing we want out of this is the family we dream of. And that makes it worth it.
Sunshine, Rainbows & Unicorns 